Happy Fathers Day!

When you're a young 'un, you look up to your dad. Most days he seems like a superman who can do anything; other days he seems a little more like the ordinary-citizen type of guy - still a great dad though. Whatever you're feeling about your dad today, remember, it's not easy being a dad! Give him a break and a hug!

My Dad

My dad is the smartest

And no one’s as strong

I’m just like my dad

We’ve never been wrong

I’ll carry a briefcase

And use a blackberry

When tipsy I’ll say

I’m just being merry

I’ll read the newspaper

And check on my stocks

I’ll come home from work

With the smelliest socks

I’ll sit at the table

And grunt while I eat

I’ll plop on the couch

And say, “Man am I beat!”

Hockey Dance

With the Stanley Cup right around the corner, I thought we could revisit this one. That's right, a little poem about hockey. Such a gentle sport, hockey.

There's an old joke that goes, "last night I went to the fight and a hockey game broke out!" It was true back in the day. You know, when players didn't even wear helmets, let alone visors. Today there is less fighting but teams still have their goons, and it is still part of the game, but I wouldn't be surprised if fighting were banned soon. So for you guys who love to bang on the glass like wild men, enjoy it while you can. Enjoy the Cracker Jacks too!

The Hockey Dance

Before they fight, it’s awfully nice

How they place their gloves upon the ice

And then,

In bloodied jerseys and padded pants

The toothless players begin their dance

Bob & Rob Ate Corn on the Cob

Alfred is also Mad for corn.

I am mad about corn, and as the weather warms up and summer approaches I dream of a hot ear of corn with absolutely nothing on it. That's right, no salt, no butter, just good old corn on the cob the Tough Guy way. And if you must know, yes, I make a complete slob of myself and I love every kernel. 

Bob & Rob

Bob and Rob ate corn on the cob

When Rob ate the cob he did a neat job

Rows of kernels were chomped very neatly

The ears had been stripped of kernels completely

Bob ate the same corn on the cob

But when Bob ate the cob he ate like a slob

Corn in his braces, his nostrils and hair

He later found kernels in his own underwear

Flavor Flops

Notice they're giving it away! Hmm, I wonder why?

Garlic Ice Cream? Boring! I mixed mine with chunks of delicious fudge. No wonder they have to give it away. 

I was at a restaurant recently where the waiter tried to get me to order their special Olive Oil Ice Cream. I told him to forget about it and just bring me the Mud Pie. Someone else at the table went fancy with the Olive Oil Ice Cream and boy were they sorry. 

The Flavor Flops

Here are the flavors

That never quite made it

If inside your freezer

You wouldn’t dare raid it

Salmon Chocolate Chip

Had sales quite flat

Broccoli Vanilla Swirl

Will not make you fat

The Garlic Fudge Chunk

Leaves bad breath for weeks

And Caramel Crab Crunch

The scoop nobody seeks

Now for the champ

Of the flavors that flopped

Awarded the flavor

Not cried for when dropped

The judges have chosen

The envelope please

And this year’s big loser

Mint Chocolate Blue Cheese! 

Balsa & Salsa

Good old balsa wood gliders. Cheap, easy to assemble, and pretty durable as long as your dog didn't get a hold of it. Some of them flew on rubber band power, others on just the skill of your toss. Yeah I know, I know, old school. They also made a good snack if you got hungry while playing.

Salsa sold separately.

Balsa and Salsa

Without any chips

To dip in his salsa

He ate his toy plane

Dipping the balsa